RELATIONSHIPS: HOT STUFF, FRIENDS & FAMILY

How To Feel Loved When “I Love You” Becomes The Norm.

Taliah-Kate Byron, Badass Beings, Australia

26 July 2016

I love you lady. I wish I could show you but it’s more of an abstract feeling.

“I know you love me Panda. You show me every time you:

+ put playing DOTA with friends on hold to play with me 

+ have delicious food ready for me when I come home late from work

+ give me snugs until I fall asleep, even though you are wide awake

+ press snooze for 45mins, so I can curl up to you even more each morning.”

M

y inner romantic was startled.

I believe love is more than saying those three words. “Actions speak louder than words” is a mantra I’ve learnt to live by.

But I hadn’t banked on just how much looking for clues of love would immediately shift how deeply I felt his love, in that moment.

And it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me.

The first time I nearly said “I love you” to him –

It almost slipped out, at a noodle bar in Ubud’s street of Sukma.

“I looooiiiiii…….” I caught the word in an awkward trail off, completely thrown by how easily it almost escaped.

Embarrassed, vulnerable, I tried to cover it up with a big slurp of my noodle soup. He didn’t buy it. To this day, it’s our running tease: “I loooiiiike you too.”

But in that moment, perched on a bar stool with swarms of motorbikes racing on by, those three words were a perfect articulation of where I was at.

Yet because we had never said it to the other before, it was a BIG DEAL.

And then it became the norm.

No less in the magnitude of our care and feelings, but the norm nonetheless. The same three words.

Loaded with even more intention and meaning, yet nowhere near the impact.

Not going to lie, I loved the hectic side of butterflies and molten bubble-bath cell-saturating goodness that accompanied the first 100 “I love you”s.

Perhaps you have questioned “Does he love me?”. Not because he isn’t saying it, but because you aren’t feeling it.

When the extravagant measures aren’t coming in every month in the form of surprise flowers, you haven’t had a weekend getaway in over six months or anniversary celebrations get put on hold…

When money, life, time or energy rob you of just feeling alive and playful with each other…

When the three words aren’t landing the way they used to…

Know love is there.

It’s up to you to find the clues.

Picking Up What We’re Putting Out?
Come Aboard.

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