RELATIONSHIPS: FRIENDS & FAMILY

“I see you. I’m here for you. I have your back.”

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Taliah-Kate Byron, Badass Beings, Australia

28th January, 2017

We were lying side by side for what could have been the thousandth time, but even in the dark, I had never felt so vulnerable.

M

y long locks were freshly shaved down to a blade 2 – but I was yet to make friends with the mirror.

It’s one thing to tick Shave For A Cure off the bucket list, it’s another to come to terms with the new you.

And then there’s your significant other.

I was completely smitten by him; my whole world gravitated around his being the moment our lives collided that one night in a pub. He was my Liam Hemsworth (think: The Last Song) in real life. 

He fit my image of my dream guy – yet did I now fit his?

That night, I remember him pleasing me, the way only a guy would his girl. After a good few minutes, he came up to my ear and with the gentleness of a feather touch, whispered, “I just wanted you to feel like a woman.” 

I’ll always remember that night.

He gave me the biggest gift a questioning girl could want:

the reminder that her femininity was not in her appearance.

For that, thank you.

. . . 

I was nervous as heck.

Heels that made two storey houses look small. Tan blacker than dark chocolate. Then they called my name – signalling my turn.

I remember snapshots of my first body building competition, in my polka dot one piece doing my ninety degree turns and poses.

What had me fighting back tears on stage was the image of her face. She made a point of sitting up the front where I could just see her, but moreso, so I could hear her.

She was beaming – and boy was she screaming! Cheering. My sister. For me.

Whether she believed in the industry of body building or not, she knew it was important to me – and how nervous I would be. Proud as punch and not afraid to show it.

Words cannot describe how loud and deep her cheering resonated within me. 

To know she had my back

when others had other things on.

To know she fully embraced what I was doing

and who I was.

To know she was happy to be there

contributing however she could. 

When I was most vulnerable,

completely out of my comfort zone but ticking another thing off my bucket list – she was there for me. For that and so much more, I love you MJ.

Both these moments I hold dear, as they are times when I needed someone – and they saw that, and had my back. Both in their own unique, but equally powerful ways.

I want to experience more of this in my life – both the gifting of being there and the receiving. 

When I queried mum as to what they both had in common, she remarked, “They were both willing to be a contribution to you, in that moment.”

What contribution can you be, in this moment?

You don’t have to drop everything and rush to their side or be a cheerleader worthy of Bring it On 5 auditions. 

The contribution you are willing to be is more than enough.

In saying this, it’s a contribution.

A willingness to give. Not a burden, an obligation or a giving when you have nothing to give.

A permission slip to search your tank for what you can muster, and create a tailored fit of consideration and genuine care. Some days it’s a care bear package of a blank canvas and paints for the nearly heart-broken, other days it’s a text to know I’m thinking of you. 

It’s a gift, on your terms.

A gift that makes you remarkable, in moments of vulnerability. In moments that define us, that are imprinted in our memory. You, the standout friend, saying,

“I see you. I’m here for you. I have your back.”

Here’s to being someone that can be counted on. Someone that can be a contribution to the lives we care about.

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