RELATIONSHIPS: INTIMATE & HOT STUFF
To The Guy Who Left Without Saying Goodbye.
Taliah-Kate Byron, Badass Beings, Australia
3 August 2016
You have searched for an entry about you. Here it is.
While this is about you, to say thank you – these words are designed for eyeballs that have wanted to cry, but couldn’t quite.
For lungs that have wanted to scream in frustration, but stayed smouldering and composed.
For brains that have been racked for answers, only to stumble upon question marks.
For anyone who has ever felt like they mean something to someone – and then been cut loose.
o that guy,
At first I hated you.
Typical vengeance when faced with a blank Samsung screen – no missed calls or new texts. Ludicrous when you consider our contact drought was usually rained out within five hours.
I was annoyed
when you asked me not to contact you. Every day before the big move, I fought a battle between reaching out for closure and honouring your desire for space. Space won every time – allied by sheer stubbornness to not feel weak.
I was at a loss
most of all, because I didn’t actually hate you –
but hated not knowing if I even meant anything to you anymore.
A hate that at its core was a tumultuous ball of confusion, frustration and hurt – a hurt evoked from being loved.
When you left the country, you left me hanging.
And that was where I caught myself.
In I Am Not Your Guru, Tony Robbins shared with a teen girl:
If you’re going to blame your father for all the bad stuff, you better well blame him for all of the good stuff too.
Even science asks us to seek both sides of the story.
Newton’s third law of motion states: for every action there is equal and opposite reaction. Translation:
For every perceived “negative” thing that happens in our life, there are equal amounts of positive that can come from it.
Being quite the astute guy, Newton also proposed in his first law: any object either remains at rest or continues to move at a constant velocity, unless acted upon by a net force.
nothing changes unless you change.
So you want to change your life? Feel free and alive?
Marry Newton’s first and third laws of motion.
Cue: Take time to
2. Seek both the positives and negatives equally
(3. Smell the roses, should you wish.)
Real World Application:
I was only seeing the drawbacks, the negatives, of the fact he left without saying goodbye. And so, I only felt negative. Shit. Crap. Pathetic.
Sick of feeling gross, I sat down and began stockpiling the benefits of him leaving without saying goodbye.
How did it benefit me? Spiritually, directionally, mentally, physically – through all twelve areas of my life.
Until… it just was.
A boy left the country without saying goodbye to a girl that stayed. End of story.
And now I can honestly thank you. Where there was angst, now lie gratitude.
And while there are so many things about you I still have to neutralise, the goodbye no longer has a hold on me.
PS. Incase you’re wondering what blessings I could have possibly discovered, here’s a snapshot:
- I’ve explored this process of finding closure and can teach to others
- I’ve rediscovered my own self worth
- I’ve been reminded not to find validation of my being through others – but to give that to myself.
- I’ve learnt to be my own rock. To stand on my own two feet. To have my own back and a stronger backbone, at that.
- I’ve got a new determination to look after myself physically. To not look for the verbal validation of a male to know I am sexy and attractive.
- I’ve learnt not to be more picky with my own time. Afterall it’s my energy and life force.
To think all that came from not getting a single goodbye… lol.
Picking Up What We’re Putting Out?
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