Wherever You Go, Go With All Your Instinct

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Taliah-Kate Byron, Badass Beings, Australia

12 January, 2017

I don’t remember the first time I said yes when I should have said no, but I do remember a few.


hen I asked my mum and her colleague to help me write a speech for my year 7 house captain election.

It was a great speech, don’t get me wrong – if my teachers were voting me in. But twelve year olds were more concerned with lollies (one of the other candidates offered these – bribery at its finest) than a list of accolades. And when I got up with all my beautiful articulated palm cards – I had a feeling the speech would be a miss.

Or that time where it came to choosing your senior year subjects – and I was smitten by Ancient History. Behind drama, there was nothing I wanted to study more. Except all the people I looked up to for advice, assured me I was better off going for Modern History, as it had a higher rating on my final exit score.

While I may have gotten the second highest A+ rating you could possibly attain in the subject, I retained nothing. It was all regurgitated, crammed in to pass exams. To this day, I can’t confidently quote World War years. 

What sparked this whole post was the memory of a workshop I ran a few years back. One of my participants opened up about an experience. Instinctively, everyone wanted to give her a hug, to console her. Except I had been trained through my NLP events not to hug someone to comfort them, as it anchors in the bad experience.

All these experiences have a common energy: an energy where I went against me.

Against my instinct.

With a new year ahead of us, we often look at the one just passed. 2016 was my happiest year yet. The thread that held everything together: I did (most) things, on my terms.

I said yes to things that honoured me and no to things that felt off.

We’re taught to seek certainty, to do the right thing, the best thing, the thing that is socially accepted or will get us ahead.

We’re instructed to seek out advice when we are unsure. To Google, to survey our friends on Facebook. To quiz the masters for guidance. 

But what if, instead of asking questions externally

– we sought out answers internally.

What’s your thoughts on this? 

What feels good for me in this moment?

Do you think this is the right decision? 

If I choose this, what could my life be like in five years time?

(This question is courtesy of Access Consciousness and one I am having a lot of fun playing with.)

Make choices that go with you, not against you.

If it feels like it’s honouring you – follow that.

At it’s very core, your feeling of freedom,

of feeling confident in your decisions and being able to stand by them,

of being relaxed knowing you did what’s best for you comes down to

in that moment, which word feels instinctively more expansive: yes or no.

Our job isn’t to get things right. It’s to do things out of respect for ourselves.

This is not to say don’t ask for guidance or other people’s opinions. It’s to press PAUSE right before the big deciding moment – and to go inside and check in, “Is this honouring me?” 

To have the final say.

Because in that moment, you are consciously creating your life. 

And moments chosen for you, become days chosen for you. Which turn in to weeks, and months. (I know you know where this is going.) And that, badass babes, becomes a life honouring you.

So wherever you go, go with all your instinct.

Go with you. Not against you.

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